Shorts

The crack in the rock seems settled, hidden, where I can observe,safe until....
The dust blows into my eyes
or there's an itch.

The perils of having a brain,
and daring to use it,
is the jealousy and painful clarity
it invokes.

The "lonely" wind blows and the chill of anxiety
over perceived difficulties seeps into my bones.
The silences when no Tweets come and the facebook status
remains unchanged for days.
The insidious fears dare to tip toe from the
margins and attempt a coup d'etat on centre stage.
I'll be damned if I'll let them seduce me into a fit of the
blues just as everything is reving up a gear.

What did I say?
The blues came, tsunami-like,
the following day.
I rolled into a ball,went to bed and believed that,
whilst I slept,
the rest was a mirage.
I awoke still with the weight of fear
pushing me down.

The pain was almost negligible.
Nevertheless, I struggled to get dressed and
push my way through the treacle,
fear debilitating me.
Positive thinking matters but my mind
is swamped by the "....what if...." and
the realisation that we live,largely, in a
fools paradise.
We're falling for the hype and
when the lights come up
we will see the utter stupidity of most
of what we say and do.

My internal life deserted me,
my saving strategy evaporated,
I am really alone.

It reasserts itself.
The constant meanderings of an
untrammelled brain that fantasizes
ad infinitum.
Two days later I was back in my
usual trio adoring an idiosyncratic being.